Shrubbery

Shrubbery (or ShrubberyJSC) was one of the first posters, and later Pure-Blood Moderator (see The Great Ascension ), on the forums. Shrubbery is an immortal knight who was estimated to be born some time in the early 14th century. His quest for the Fountain of Youth was succesfull, after which he destroyed the fountain because he is a huge dick and "wanted to be the only immortal dude". It is currently unclear as to whether there was originally a comma between "immortal" and "dude", but either way it is generally agreed upon that it was still a totally dickish thing to say.

Shrubbery was also well known for his vast knowledge of nothing, and what nothingness entails. Since his quest for the Fountain of Youth was succesful, his newest quest (only completed recently in 2009) was to


 * "Findeth a mate that I may continuously and frequently pleasure with my slippery shrub stick"

As a result of completing this quest, ShrubberyJSC used it as an excuse to leave his duties behind and retire from the forums in 2009. The only real contribution he made to the forums was the expansion of the forum rules, after the forum had doubled its population since the release of Left 4 Dead. Besides that he was pretty useless as a moderator.

A Problem With Windows
Shrubbery was known for his issue with Windows. No, not Microsoft Windows. Literal windows.

The following footage was taken during an early alpha version of Left 4 Dead.

It shows Shrubbery search frantically around the beginning rooftop level of No Mercy, before deciding that it would be a good idea to jump out of a window and embarass himself in front of Chet Faliszek. All of this despite clearly seeing another player, who had clearly tried the same thing, dead on the ground.

Later, during the final version of the game, the window that Shrubbery so valiantly leaped out of was barred by Valve.